Throughout his career Tiger Woods has had an awards list as long as the nose on a Columbian Pinocchio after a drugs bust, and a list of indiscretions as blank as the face on an autistic child during a school disco.
That of course due to recent discoveries has all changed. Mr Woods has been found to be taking a rather liberal approach towards his love life. One of which there are a number of ways of describing:
1. Mr Woods has been cheating on his wife with a number of women and has taken a variety of drugs.
2. Mr Woods has been travelling round the world sleeping with pornstars and sniffing more crack than George Michael in a public toilet.
3. Mr Woods has slept with women in every country on earth including all of the women in Thailand, (ladyboys inclusive), has taken in more unidentified substances than a Dyson vacuum in E.Ts bedroom, and gets beaten up by his wife like a big over sexed sissy.
Ok the last description I admit is edging on ridiculous, but I am sure you get the point.
Tiger has now taken an indefinite break from the world of golf, which as a sport is obviously not in need for this type of scandal. But ask yourself what are the images that come into your head when thinking about golf, here are mine, (apologies for yet another list) :
1. Middle aged men in collared shirts and golf carts talking about...............middle aged men in collared shirts and golf carts.
2. Tiny white balls going into deep black holes, (Il let you come up with your own punch line)
3. Colin Montgomery running topless after an ice cream van screaming, "Just one more scoop".
What I am trying to say is that golf I fear will not suffer for this added scandal but almost, in a way will benefit from it...........................well I mean, Tiger seems to have fun.
Tiger Woods, the only golfer non-golfers know!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to see the new generation in P.E
"And what is golf?"
"It's like politics when you're Bill Clinton, you get the money and the women your wife doesn't know about but it's all discovered in the end. Then after a few years you end up nude on Family Guy."