The rescue of the century....and those Chilean lads

Hello there, of late you could suggest that my blog has done a bit of a "Chilean miner" and has been stranded in the murky underground of the internet for far too long. So like those cheeky chappies in Chile I am going to pull it out from the underground and shove it screaming and crying into the public eye.....though presumably it won't start donning suits and making a mockery of its own rescue by doing a half arsed Elvis Presley impression on a late night chat show....no...definitely not....that would be ABSURD.




There have been a couple of stories that have inspired me to, once again, start swinging my everlasting hammer of eternal satirical pessimism. The first one isn't really about the story, but about the headline on the BBC homepage which you will find displayed below.



My enquiry is this: WHAT ELSE WOULD A BOMB DO?

I mean did he expect a shower of confetti followed by the appearance of TV cameras and Jeremy Beadle's now decrepit, one armed, corpse to swing from the roof wrapped in a banner with the words "you're on candid camera" written on it?

Presumably then, the bomb not only crippled the man but also caused his brain so much stress that he now feels it necessary to constantly state the blindingly obvious. I can just imagine him rolling into a restaurant only to be asked to leave when he starts screaming "I HAVE NO LEGS" at the top of his voice.

The other story to grab my attention is the accusation made my Michael Jackson's children that the new, posthumous, album that will be being released in mid December features faked vocals mixed with samples and not the voice of their late father. My point is simply this: When the album is released it would not matter if it contained nothing but sawdust, faeces and a 2 hour recording of a man sandpapering his grandmother, because as long as it says MICHAEL JACKSON on the front people will buy it in their millions.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go and find some sand paper, I have a fantastic idea for a Christmas CD.