For this brief post I thought that I would once again talk about that big blue social behemoth that is Facebook. To be honest I do not really like treading over old ground, but in this case I am willing to make an exception.
Every now and then the makers of Facebook will decide that they deem it neccesary to change some of the aspects of the site to try and make it easier to use. Sometimes when they try and do this they don't always get it exactly right first time.
This of-course leads some of the members to become very angry and annoyed, and to my dismay, increasingly more vocal.
Now before I go any further I would like to stress that Facebook, besides being a den for sex offenders, z-list celebs and YOUR MOTHER, is an entirely free service.
Can you remember a time before Facebook, before metaphorical walls and un-neccesary notifications telling you how many times a week your friends wash their hands, (true story).
A time where there was no tagging or poking, (or as I like to call it the, "lolololol its sounds kind of rude" button).
My point being, in the past if you wanted to talk to an old friend you would have to get their contact details and make the effort to get in touch. Facebook, (and as much as I loathe to say this), has made socialising a hell of alot easier.
So what I am going to suggest is that all of the people that have decided to take it upon themselves to fight the war on change, please take a second to realise that if your life has got to the point at which you feel the need to whinge about what order your "poking" buttons are in, then you may have gone completely mad. Maybe you could step outside of your den of internet debauchery for a second and take a trip into that wonderful world of REAL LIFE, where you may find your liberal use of the word, "lol", and absolute disregard for any subject matter that Simon Cowell hasn't touched with his brush of seemingly never ending originality, just a tad on the side of UNBELIEVABLY ANNOYING.
Monday 26 October 2009
Monday 19 October 2009
The best story I have read all year.
This as you may have noticed, (or your might have not), is my second post of the day, and it's not something I normally do. But I have come across a story that i feel is so utterly ridiculous in every conceivable way that I felt absolutely compelled to let you know.
The story is very straight forward, basically, The World War 2 concentration camp Auschwitz now has its own Facebook page. This firstly proving the point I made in my first post about everyone being on Facebook. Though I will admit that at the time I was not thinking that my statement would stretch as far to include this temple of un-necessarily bad hygiene, forced head shaving and MASS GENOCIDE.
A spokesman has said that this is an attempt to reach the youth of the world and teach them a little about history. They went on to say that because Facebook seems to be the most popular thing since the intake of oxygen, that this would be the ideal platform to do it.
But I have spotted one glaring flaw in their master plan, namely that no one in their right mind and with any shred of common sense will want to be friends with somewhere that was responsible for THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE.
I can only imagine the reaction of my friends when it appears on my Facebook page that I am now, "friends with Auschwitz". I can only suggest the people that have that message on their page also have the fact that they are friends with, Stalin, Mussolini and Satan in clear view on the same feed.
Any way I have made my point but unfortunately I shall have to go, I've just been poked by Harold Shipman.
The story is very straight forward, basically, The World War 2 concentration camp Auschwitz now has its own Facebook page. This firstly proving the point I made in my first post about everyone being on Facebook. Though I will admit that at the time I was not thinking that my statement would stretch as far to include this temple of un-necessarily bad hygiene, forced head shaving and MASS GENOCIDE.
A spokesman has said that this is an attempt to reach the youth of the world and teach them a little about history. They went on to say that because Facebook seems to be the most popular thing since the intake of oxygen, that this would be the ideal platform to do it.
But I have spotted one glaring flaw in their master plan, namely that no one in their right mind and with any shred of common sense will want to be friends with somewhere that was responsible for THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE.
I can only imagine the reaction of my friends when it appears on my Facebook page that I am now, "friends with Auschwitz". I can only suggest the people that have that message on their page also have the fact that they are friends with, Stalin, Mussolini and Satan in clear view on the same feed.
Any way I have made my point but unfortunately I shall have to go, I've just been poked by Harold Shipman.
Going once, Going twice.......sold to the man in the white sparkly outfit.
For this post I thought I would do things a bit differently and keep this quite brief. The reason being that the story I have stumbled across is one that I feel obliged to let you know about. The problem being I am not sure that there is an awful lot to say about it.
This week there has been a charity auction held in Chicago in which the possessions of a certain, Elvis Presley went up for sale to avid fans and collectors. Amongst the various items for sale was a clump of hair that was shaved off his head when he joined the army.
This particular item sold for nothing short of $15,000 to one lucky fan who chose to remain nameless, (which I am sure is certainly the best option in the circumstances).
Now what interests me about this, is that it begs the question of, what in the name of all that is sacred in this world would you do with a clump of a fat mans hair that, (and I am sorry if you're a fan), died on the toilet next to a massive pile of crack and inebriated hookers, whilst chomping on what was probably his fifteenth cheeseburger of the evening ?
I mean there is only limited things you can do with something as peculiar as someone's hair. I mean I guess you could frame it and hang it in your living room, making a somewhat odd but strangely compelling conversation piece. Or maybe you could take the hair and knit it into some sort of strange cloth to drape over your Elvis shrine.
Either way, I feel as if I have got my point across that buying the hair of other people, regardless of whether they are dead celebrities or not, is just mental.
Until my next post, I leave you to ponder that.
This week there has been a charity auction held in Chicago in which the possessions of a certain, Elvis Presley went up for sale to avid fans and collectors. Amongst the various items for sale was a clump of hair that was shaved off his head when he joined the army.
This particular item sold for nothing short of $15,000 to one lucky fan who chose to remain nameless, (which I am sure is certainly the best option in the circumstances).
Now what interests me about this, is that it begs the question of, what in the name of all that is sacred in this world would you do with a clump of a fat mans hair that, (and I am sorry if you're a fan), died on the toilet next to a massive pile of crack and inebriated hookers, whilst chomping on what was probably his fifteenth cheeseburger of the evening ?
I mean there is only limited things you can do with something as peculiar as someone's hair. I mean I guess you could frame it and hang it in your living room, making a somewhat odd but strangely compelling conversation piece. Or maybe you could take the hair and knit it into some sort of strange cloth to drape over your Elvis shrine.
Either way, I feel as if I have got my point across that buying the hair of other people, regardless of whether they are dead celebrities or not, is just mental.
Until my next post, I leave you to ponder that.
Sunday 18 October 2009
Flight of the Falcon and a Somali pub quiz.
For this post I would like to draw your attention to something that happened a couple of days ago in the good old U.S of A. The story is of a little Falcon Heene, 6, who wandered into his attic to find his fathers home made weather balloon just sitting there ready for lift off. Falcon then proceeded to climb into the balloon and float half away across the country before crashing into a field, where everyone, without sounding hugely insensitive, thought he was dead.
Before I go any further with this story I would like to point out that when the balloon crashed the boy Falcon was found not to be inside it. Therefore there were a number of options as to what had happened for this to occur.
1. Mid flight Falcon discovered that he not only had the name of a bird but also the natural ability to fly and soared off into the distance.
2. The same discovery takes place as suggested in option 1, but instead of soaring off into the distance, it proves only to be a result of his complete insanity and he falls to what can only be described as a truly horrendous death.
3. He was never in the balloon in the first place.
Thankfully it was option three that came out to be the winner and the balloon did not, at any point, have him inside it. Which firstly points out that maybe this was all just an elaborate hoax staged to create publicity for the family. And secondly that the entirety of the American media had been following an empty silver balloon around for three hours, which looked like it was designed by a man trying to draw a U.F.O with his teeth whilst being beaten over the head with a barstool.
It has since been brought to public attention that the family recently appeared on the American version of Wife Swap. A show in which two decidedly different families swap the women of the house with the other. Resulting in an entire hour of entirely un-entertaining predictable garbage that only seems to amuse those who have yet to discover the wonders of basic literacy.
Therefore it has been suggested that this all may have been staged to try and be a free advertisement for the show. Though to be honest I don't think trying to convince an entire country that a young boy floated half way across America only to die when it inevitably crashed to the ground was overly good strategy.
I am going to suggest that this story fits rather easily into the category of, "only in America", and though it did enthrall an entire nation for three hours, lets hope it does not happen again any time soon, (though I did enjoy the fact that the attention of millions of Americans was held for hours merely by the apperance of something shiny).
The second part of this post will be a brief mention to a story I stumbled across and thought I might let you know about. It seems that the Kismayo region of Somalia has been holding a series of quizes organised in an attempt to keep the youth of the region on the straight and narrow. You will not be surprised to hear then the prizes for this quiz are guns and explosives. The first prize is a collection that contains two rifles, two grenades, a landmine, and £1000 worth of office supplies. The office supplies presumably included to help out with all that pesky paperwork that comes along with being a Somalian warlord of death.
I guess one can only hope that popular UK T.V quiz shows will take on a similar approach to spice up our Saturday nights. Instead of giving untold wealth, they could give guns and ammo and film winning contestants robbing friends and family.
All that aside, it certainly makes you wonder what exactly it would be like to live in a community that hands out weapons and ammo so freely to what are a basically still children.
I will leave you to think about that until my next post.
Before I go any further with this story I would like to point out that when the balloon crashed the boy Falcon was found not to be inside it. Therefore there were a number of options as to what had happened for this to occur.
1. Mid flight Falcon discovered that he not only had the name of a bird but also the natural ability to fly and soared off into the distance.
2. The same discovery takes place as suggested in option 1, but instead of soaring off into the distance, it proves only to be a result of his complete insanity and he falls to what can only be described as a truly horrendous death.
3. He was never in the balloon in the first place.
Thankfully it was option three that came out to be the winner and the balloon did not, at any point, have him inside it. Which firstly points out that maybe this was all just an elaborate hoax staged to create publicity for the family. And secondly that the entirety of the American media had been following an empty silver balloon around for three hours, which looked like it was designed by a man trying to draw a U.F.O with his teeth whilst being beaten over the head with a barstool.
It has since been brought to public attention that the family recently appeared on the American version of Wife Swap. A show in which two decidedly different families swap the women of the house with the other. Resulting in an entire hour of entirely un-entertaining predictable garbage that only seems to amuse those who have yet to discover the wonders of basic literacy.
Therefore it has been suggested that this all may have been staged to try and be a free advertisement for the show. Though to be honest I don't think trying to convince an entire country that a young boy floated half way across America only to die when it inevitably crashed to the ground was overly good strategy.
I am going to suggest that this story fits rather easily into the category of, "only in America", and though it did enthrall an entire nation for three hours, lets hope it does not happen again any time soon, (though I did enjoy the fact that the attention of millions of Americans was held for hours merely by the apperance of something shiny).
The second part of this post will be a brief mention to a story I stumbled across and thought I might let you know about. It seems that the Kismayo region of Somalia has been holding a series of quizes organised in an attempt to keep the youth of the region on the straight and narrow. You will not be surprised to hear then the prizes for this quiz are guns and explosives. The first prize is a collection that contains two rifles, two grenades, a landmine, and £1000 worth of office supplies. The office supplies presumably included to help out with all that pesky paperwork that comes along with being a Somalian warlord of death.
I guess one can only hope that popular UK T.V quiz shows will take on a similar approach to spice up our Saturday nights. Instead of giving untold wealth, they could give guns and ammo and film winning contestants robbing friends and family.
All that aside, it certainly makes you wonder what exactly it would be like to live in a community that hands out weapons and ammo so freely to what are a basically still children.
I will leave you to think about that until my next post.
Thursday 15 October 2009
Pink fruit and a couple of slashes
For my second post it would have been quite easy, (and rather predictable), to spend the time talking about last nights big match in which England gave Belarus a good old 3-0 beating at Wembley. And it is precisely because of this sense of the inevitable that I have decided to not talk about that but instead kick off, (no pun intended), with something as far removed from football as I could get, namely the exciting world of oddly coloured fruit.
It seems that Kew Gardens Millennium seed bank in Sussex has on their travels around China have stumbled across the existence of a pink banana. They made this particularly odd discovery as they were making their way around Asia looking for rare species of plants to freeze, and keep in their underground equivalent of a botanical batcave.
The group was quoted as saying that the discovery may change the way we look at the banana forever. Though I'm not too sure about you but Iv never been that bothered in any particular way about the colour of my fruit. Of course there may be those of you out there who have, until this point, avoided the banana, merely on the basis that you found its shade of garish sunshine yellow a tad too offensive for your palette. But then again if you did I doubt that you would find this new coat of Fluorescent pink any less of an assault on your eyes.
Also this discovery marks the fact that 10% of the world's plants are now safe in storage in the aforementioned gardeners' world HQ in Sussex. So at least we can all sleep safe in our beds knowing that such treasures as the pink banana and the mystical Indian chocolate flavoured gherkin wont be going anywhere anytime soon.
In the last part of this post I want to give a mention to a story I came across involving Sir Tim Berners Lee, who of course is the founder of a little thing known as the internet. This week he has made a public apology for putting in the two forward slashes that come before web addresses, and has been quoted as saying he had no idea that they had caused, "this much hassle and wasted this much paper".
So to those of you out there who have been sitting behind your computer screens becoming increasingly incensed at these un-necessary vertical lines, and have been sharpening your knives at the thought of Mr Lees seemingly blatant disregard for your paper wastage, he's apologised now, so leave the man in peace.
I think though if you have got to the point where you feel the need to moan about two lines in a web address, then it may be time to step outside and get some fresh air, as you have clearly gone absolutely stark raving bonkers.
It seems that Kew Gardens Millennium seed bank in Sussex has on their travels around China have stumbled across the existence of a pink banana. They made this particularly odd discovery as they were making their way around Asia looking for rare species of plants to freeze, and keep in their underground equivalent of a botanical batcave.
The group was quoted as saying that the discovery may change the way we look at the banana forever. Though I'm not too sure about you but Iv never been that bothered in any particular way about the colour of my fruit. Of course there may be those of you out there who have, until this point, avoided the banana, merely on the basis that you found its shade of garish sunshine yellow a tad too offensive for your palette. But then again if you did I doubt that you would find this new coat of Fluorescent pink any less of an assault on your eyes.
Also this discovery marks the fact that 10% of the world's plants are now safe in storage in the aforementioned gardeners' world HQ in Sussex. So at least we can all sleep safe in our beds knowing that such treasures as the pink banana and the mystical Indian chocolate flavoured gherkin wont be going anywhere anytime soon.
In the last part of this post I want to give a mention to a story I came across involving Sir Tim Berners Lee, who of course is the founder of a little thing known as the internet. This week he has made a public apology for putting in the two forward slashes that come before web addresses, and has been quoted as saying he had no idea that they had caused, "this much hassle and wasted this much paper".
So to those of you out there who have been sitting behind your computer screens becoming increasingly incensed at these un-necessary vertical lines, and have been sharpening your knives at the thought of Mr Lees seemingly blatant disregard for your paper wastage, he's apologised now, so leave the man in peace.
I think though if you have got to the point where you feel the need to moan about two lines in a web address, then it may be time to step outside and get some fresh air, as you have clearly gone absolutely stark raving bonkers.
Tuesday 13 October 2009
And so here we are............................Post no.1
And so here we are, my first post, and i guess there is only one place to start, little old me and why Iv decided to delve into the world of blogging.
Well I am currently doing a Ba HONS in Journalism at the Universtity Of Central Lancashire, and i thought it was about time to have a dip into that swirling pool of hype, lies, and gossip that is the online blog.
My vast array of interests contains many things, including film, music, sports, cars, books and all the usual fantastical things that a man of 21 gets up to. So I would guess its time for me to make a point of all this and actually talk about something.
I thought that as this is the first post on my online blog then I may aswell talk about how I feel about the internet in general. And so I also thought I may aswell kick off with that giant, hulking, blue monster that is Facebook.
Back in the day when Facebook was only a wee toddler, and was only for students, it seemed fresh and different. It was somewhere that you could chat to friends about uni life, and see what a mess you looked after taking advantage of all those student drinks offers in the local bars. Where a pint is one pound, a shot is 50 pence, (and if you listen to the media), crack flows from the taps as freely as the water.
These days though the nature of the beast has changed somewhat, and its not only for us sleep deprived, drinks guzzling students. Now anyone can get on Facebook, whether that be your Gran, your Mum, your brother or your dog, everyone can get involved and if you have a look you will see that they have.
Instead of hitting the bingo on a friday night it would seem as if most women of middle age will quite happily spend their evenings doing quizzes to find out when they will next get pregnant. Either that or rummage through all of your photos to find the one where you looked at your most stunningly legless among a group of what a appears to be a pack of hungry dogs. Then usually decide to leave a suitably embarassing comment along the lines of, "oh well atleast you seem to be having fun".
Which brings me to my next point on peoples tendancy to feel the need to broadcast their every breath all over their page. I mean dont get me wrong I could not be more interested in the type of sandwich you are eating or what you are doing inbetween your seemingly life assuring sessions of watching the X-factor, but is it really neccesary ? Though I am aware of my hypocrisy as I myself tend to be on Facebook quite alot, and do write the odd cheeky status update from time to time.
But I dont want to sound like im having a complete dig at it, because Im really not. Besides theres alot more to talk about, and things much more interesting than Facebook, but that can always wait until my next post.
Well I am currently doing a Ba HONS in Journalism at the Universtity Of Central Lancashire, and i thought it was about time to have a dip into that swirling pool of hype, lies, and gossip that is the online blog.
My vast array of interests contains many things, including film, music, sports, cars, books and all the usual fantastical things that a man of 21 gets up to. So I would guess its time for me to make a point of all this and actually talk about something.
I thought that as this is the first post on my online blog then I may aswell talk about how I feel about the internet in general. And so I also thought I may aswell kick off with that giant, hulking, blue monster that is Facebook.
Back in the day when Facebook was only a wee toddler, and was only for students, it seemed fresh and different. It was somewhere that you could chat to friends about uni life, and see what a mess you looked after taking advantage of all those student drinks offers in the local bars. Where a pint is one pound, a shot is 50 pence, (and if you listen to the media), crack flows from the taps as freely as the water.
These days though the nature of the beast has changed somewhat, and its not only for us sleep deprived, drinks guzzling students. Now anyone can get on Facebook, whether that be your Gran, your Mum, your brother or your dog, everyone can get involved and if you have a look you will see that they have.
Instead of hitting the bingo on a friday night it would seem as if most women of middle age will quite happily spend their evenings doing quizzes to find out when they will next get pregnant. Either that or rummage through all of your photos to find the one where you looked at your most stunningly legless among a group of what a appears to be a pack of hungry dogs. Then usually decide to leave a suitably embarassing comment along the lines of, "oh well atleast you seem to be having fun".
Which brings me to my next point on peoples tendancy to feel the need to broadcast their every breath all over their page. I mean dont get me wrong I could not be more interested in the type of sandwich you are eating or what you are doing inbetween your seemingly life assuring sessions of watching the X-factor, but is it really neccesary ? Though I am aware of my hypocrisy as I myself tend to be on Facebook quite alot, and do write the odd cheeky status update from time to time.
But I dont want to sound like im having a complete dig at it, because Im really not. Besides theres alot more to talk about, and things much more interesting than Facebook, but that can always wait until my next post.
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